What is every mom’s dream for their daughter? What day does every mom look forward to with a taste that is bittersweet with their daughter?  You’re right, the wedding day…since the day my daughter was born I have been looking forward to the night she comes home to tell me she’s engaged, planning an engagement party, a bridal shower, shopping for wedding stuff, shoppping for her dress, flowers, invitations, and then the day I get to tell my daughter she looks incredibly beautiful and I am so proud of the wonderful woman she has become and how I wish her and her new husband all the best…I was looking forward to seeing his face as she walked down the isle….

It was recently brought to my attention my one and only child is getting married, October 3, 2015 to be exact and I will not be able to attend obviously since it has been 32 weeks now since I have seen or heard from her  I will not be able to enjoy any of the mother/daughter bridal stuff that is so incredibly precious.

My heart is broke in so many pieces at this time, I have no idea how to put it back together.

I’m assuming my parents will assume the role I had been looking forward too…I cannot even express how this makes me feel.

All the times we watched “Father of the Bride” together…I will cherish those memories…

So, they have registered and are picking out kitchen items, bathroom towels, a toaster, lamps…I so looked foward to this day and the excitement to be enjoyed because my daughter had found her perfect match.

I would have gushed over her ring and been so happy to congratulate my future son-in-law and welcome him to our small family.

I would have bought them some sort of a gift to celebrate the engagement and taken any amount of loan to make her wedding the days of her dreams.

I remember when we would watch “Four Weddings” or “Say Yes to the Dress” together, we would talk about the different weddings and dresses and the amount of money, food, desserts, all that…I totally enjoyed these moments, and now, that is what I’ll have to cherish – the moments where we dreamed about her wedding day.

Now, she is not a total girlie girl like me and the froo-froo of a wedding day didn’t excite her like it did me, but as a mom, this is the day you truly look forward too….your daughter’s wedding day and the birth of her children…I certainly hopes she finds her heart before that day happens!!

Yesterday, when I discovered her bridal registry I was pretty okay, I had felt this day would come and she would marry way to young – but I always thought we would have reconciled our relationship and I would be included.

Now, someone else will get to help her get her dress on, maybe pull the veil over her face, hand her the bouquet, and give her words of wisdom.  Someone else will take the seat of mother-of-the-bride and light the unity candle, watch her walk down the isle, hear her say her vows, and hear the minister announce “Mr. and Mrs….”  Someone else will watch her enjoy her reception, watch her cut the cake and maybe share a dance or two…someone else will pack the presents in the car and drop them off so they can be opened after the honeymoom and someone else will watch her get into her car and be whisked away for her honeymoon…someone else will come home to an empty nest without her and wish her to be a baby again…but no matter how sad I am today, no matter what pain I feel and the tears that fall, there is hope in front of me, there is hand still holding me, and that is the hand of Jesus….he never lets go, and he will continue to walk the dark and the broken places, there is still hope in front of me, and maybe someone, just someone will come for me.